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duckbootdiva.com
Est. whenever · Philadelphia, probably

Duck Boot Diva

A legend. A lifestyle. A sandwich and a cigarette at 10am.

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Ride HardDuck Boot DivaBoots OnJust Lookin'Extra Olives Ride HardDuck Boot DivaBoots OnJust Lookin'Extra Olives

Some people are just people. Others are Duck Boot Divas. Part cowboy, part philosopher, all boots. This is the official record.

Ride Hard racing jacket and red sunglasses at the office

Nightlife

(01)
Larger-than-life figure with a giant martini and cigarette outside Woody's
Woody's · Thursdays

Big hat.
Bigger martini.

When the sign lights up, you know where to find him. Three olives, minimum. The boots arrive about four seconds before he does.

Regulars call it a cameo. Staff call it a residency.

0Olives
0Hat
0Commitment
The ArchiveExhibit A–FDo Not TouchThe ArchiveExhibit A–FDo Not Touch The ArchiveExhibit A–FDo Not TouchThe ArchiveExhibit A–FDo Not Touch

The archive

Ride Hard t-shirt at the office
Exhibit AWardrobe

Ride Hard

Duck boot on the office floor
Exhibit BFootwear

The Boots

Head-tilted portrait in a suit
Exhibit CPortraiture

The Look

Leaning over a desk with a box of pastries
Exhibit DOffice Hours

Pastry Patrol

Cowboy night outside Woody's
Exhibit ENightlife

Cowboy Night

Candlelit shrine of framed photos
Exhibit FDevotion

The Shrine

The shrine

(03)
Candlelit shrine of framed photos with a crown
Devotion

Forty-one candles. One crown. Zero explanations.

Field notes

(04)
Ride Hard shirtDress code

Boots on.
Head tilted.

Duck bootExhibit B
0Availability
Pastries at the deskBreakfast
Democratic Socialists of America march banner∞Opinions
The lookThe look

Opinions, from his leaked protest group chat

Exhibit G · Leaked
  1. His house isn’t crooked. It leans left in solidarity.
  2. The office pastry box has been nationalized. Cinnamon rolls will be rationed by committee.
  3. Wants to abolish the stock market and replace it with a barter system. Currency: cigarettes.
  4. Rent is a social construct. So is paying him back for lunch.
  5. Demands a four-day work week so day five is free for protesting.
  6. Calls his car “our car” but you still can't borrow it.
  7. Free healthcare, free college, and free olives in every martini.
  8. Duck boots are the only ethically sourced footwear. Your sneakers are a crime against labor.
  9. His sweet nothings sound romantic until you notice they’re coordinates for the uprising.
  10. I’m not responsible for your kids, the world is.